The Bodyguard
by Esotherica
Summary: Action takes place right after Loki is brought back to Asgard from earth. Now he is a hostage and a victim at the same time. With creatures coming after him, Odin and Thor decide he needs some kind of protection.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1. The first encounter._

„Come on, it's time to go. Your brother is waiting"

„Don't you know how to knock, silly girl?" Pure anger and frustration reflected in his eyes. After being brought back from earth Loki spent all his time locked up in his chambers, protected by the spell even he couldn't break. This man had lots of time to think everything over, or plan revenge. No one knew what's happening in that head of his. „And he isn't my brother, haven't you heard?"

"I don't think knocking is necessary, _my lord_" I spew those last words out with a hint of mockery in it, still trying to keep my cold and unshakable posture in front of him. "And yes, I've heard – Loki the frost giant. Are you proud of this so much, you want everyone to call you that?"

Loki grinned, as spiteful as anyone could, his eyes cold like the land of Jotunheim, but I knew better, I am good at reading people. Well, Loki is no _people,_ but even he had a hint of emotions in his eyes. It was only a fraction of a second, but I saw it, just what was it exactly? Sadness? Pain? Shame? All these feelings were quite similar in my eyes; I was surprised realizing that Loki had any kind of human emotions left in him.

„So are you going, or should I make you to_, my lord?_"I even managed to bow a little bit, just to show him, that he can not play with me like he did with everyone else. That's why I was chosen, that's why I was here in the first place. My own feelings and fear had no place in this room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name" he said, after examining me thoroughly for a moment or so.

"Might be because I haven't told you that yet. My name is Miriam."

"And what exactly is your purpose here, Miriam? To be my maid? Because my chambers need cleaning, no one seems to think about that anymore."

"I. Am. Not. Your. Maid." The words sounded more like a growl, my teeth were clenched, so were my fists. Who does he think he is? A prince? Well, technically… But now he was nothing else than a prisoner in his own so desired castle. And no prisoner will talk to me like this, Loki or no Loki, his position stays the same. "I am your guard. Your bodyguard, if you wish. Quite a reputation you've earned here and in every other world visited. Your family wants you protected".

"And they sent you for that? Well, isn't that just sad. Pretending to care they send a woman. Is this all just so my family wouldn't look like they left me on my own?" Now Loki's face was all red, he was angry, so angry, I thought he could lose himself right this second. And then it's only me and him in this empty room. _Well, quite a good chance to prove myself_, thought I, smiling a bit.

"So are we going, or you want to chat a bit more, because you feel lonely locked up in here? Your family is waiting".

"THEY ARE NOT MY FAMILY!" Loki cracked, he was enraged, and it looked like the air around him started radiating a really stinging cold. "AND NEVER CALL THEM LIKE THAT, YOU STUPID GIRL!"

He was shouting so loud, it was amazing, that no one else came in to check on us. I knew that it was a big wound I just touched, the one that was not supposed to be touched. Ever; or things might get ugly. But it was impossible to abstain myself from it, I despised this man so much, even if that was unprofessional, I just couldn't stay silent and not teasing him at least a little bit. The almighty silver-tongued Loki, a self proclaimed king of Asgard, a traitor, a liar, a so-called leader who tried to kill all the human population. Why should I tip-toe around this creature? He was nothing; he didn't earn my respect in any way. It was impulsive, my actions and words weren't thought through, but I didn't feel guilty, not even a little bit.

"Your roots might lie in Jotunheim, but you are still of Asgard, until declared differently"

For a second I thought he gave up. The same spark in his eyes again, an emotion that was so strange to be seen in this man. But it was a mistake; it was a mistake for me to lower my guard, even if it was only for a blink of an eye. Right that second, two more Lokis appeared, then two again, in the other side of the room, and then three behind me. Room was filling up with his images, something I have only heard of. How can they be so real, how can he create something so natural? I could swear I was able to feel breathing behind me. An ice cold air right down my neck.

"So this is how you play, Loki?" I whispered, looking around. The room was full, all Loki's images were grinning at me. This was his game, to hide behind the backs of others, to threaten everyone who tries to get closer to him. That moment fear took over me, I was truly afraid of what might happen, I was afraid of that man alone, but now there were at least half of hundred of him all looking at me with some kind of mockery, thirst, maybe just simple curiosity of what would I do now. And the exact same question was spinning in my head too. What _should _I do in this situation?

I knew it's not possible to catch him like this; I wasn't that good by myself. I knew exactly what to do, but it was so hard to force myself to. That was my last choice, not something I could do easily. Well, might as well say, that it is a critical situation... I stood there silently, my back straight, head held high, I knew, that the real Loki was looking at me, maybe grinning, maybe frustrated, well, in the end, that's the thing I shouldn't care about. I took a deep breath and the second air left my lungs I could see everything as it was. I knew which one the real Loki was. _Well that's much better_,grinned I the same way Loki did just a moment ago. It didn't take a second for me to appear in front of him. Now I was able to see it clearly: frustration, panic and interest in his eyes, everything mixing up, slowing him down. Grabbing Loki's neck I moved towards the wall lifting him until his feet couldn't touch the ground anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2. The ugly truth_

I held him up against the wall for a while. Everything I was afraid of disappeared, leaving my mind free of weaknesses I possessed before. He was in my hands, unable to breathe, unable to do anything, stunned by my actions. I saw pure hate in his eyes, or was it my own emotions reflecting right back at me? I neither knew, nor cared, in the end I felt like a winner, like someone invincible even for Loki.

"What? You see something so precious to you, _my lord_? How does it feel, to be helpless and dependable on someone like me?" I felt even a bigger grin coming to my lips, the cold was taking over me, every human emotion started leaving my mind little by little, and it was exactly why I didn't want to be what I was; this side of me should be hidden all the time. My humanity was and is the only real thing in my life.

I had to force myself to put Loki down. After taking a quick look around I realized that it was either fear or curiosity that made Loki's magic vanish: the room was empty and cold. I concentrated as hard as possible just to come back to my normal stance, taking a quick look back at him. Loki was smiling again, though gasping for air at the same time, corners of his mouth trembling a little bit.

"So are you here to kill me, Miriam. Or do you seek recognition this way, trying to show me, that in the end we are the same?"

"We are not the same, Loki." Now I was angry, as angry as I could get. "I am nothing like you and you will never insult me comparing both of us in any kind of way."

"But you are a frost giant, just like me, isn't that true?" He asked, with that little smile playing on his lips, though the eyes stayed cold and emotionless. Well, I have to give him some credit for reacting like this and being able to stay calm. That is something I yet had to learn.

"I am human. I don't care where I was born, or whom I was born as. Earth is my home and I am proud to live and breathe there." I inhaled silently thinking for a second, how to put all my thoughts into words. And most importantly, how to make him listen and understand. "I am nothing like you, Loki. I _do not_ start denying the life I had just because I came from somewhere else. I _do not _possess hate that frost giants do. I _am not_ a blood-thirsty creature that seeks war and destruction. The blood of frost giants run through my veins, but it's only that."

For a moment Loki was thinking. Did I get through him? Did I make him think about everything he's done, to see things in the other perspective?It was a foolish idea, but I hoped for it so much, as it would make my job here that much easier. But Loki wasn't easy, he was stubborn, and spiteful, and even if he had a seed of doubt, he'd be sure no one else would see it.

"Why. Are. You. Here?" He spat every word out for me. His voice made me shiver, like little spikes of ice touching my skin, trying to penetrate the wall I put around myself, trying to get the answer he was hungry for.

Well, in the end there was nothing I could do to prove him my intentions were pure and all I said was completely true. It was a stupid idea to show him who I was, that just made Loki question my presence even more, as if it wasn't enough before. There was nothing I could say… But I could show him. Another stupid idea, but so far the only one I had, and it was important to get on his better side (if there was one). _Well, there goes nothing_…

"Give me your hand, Loki"

It looked like I wanted his head on a spike in front of the castle entrance. Not just that, he reacted like I was asking him to give it away willingly. His hands were behind his back now and Loki moved back a step or two, not breaking the eye contact.

"Well if you want to know, and you do not trust me, there's nothing else I can do but to _show_ you. Or is the almighty Loki afraid of a girl?" Again, I said too much, my stupid impulsiveness, always takes over me. Or was it him, bringing the worst of me, making me act stupid? Well, that would explain why everyone told me to be extremely cautious around him, and all I did so far was breaking every promise I gave to reason with him as little as possible. But it looked like Loki didn't hear, or chose not to hear those last words. Now he stood straight, looking at me, not blinking, and it seemed like he wasn't breathing either. Well, wouldn't _that_ be easier?

I moved slowly, raising my right hand in front of him and letting it stay there. I made my move, now it's his time. _Oh, I hope that will work_… Loki was looking at me, but I saw a little doubt in his eyes. He came a little bit closer, but still kept a safe distance. After a minute of complete silence, that made me feel very uncomfortable, he moved his hand a bit. That was what I needed, a little moment of doubt from him, but I knew it was necessary for me to act fast. All I needed was to grab his hand and then… Well everything would be in my control. _Let the show begin_, I thought when closing my eyes.

_Jotunheim. Cold, windy, white. Thousands of frost giants gathering around their new king, bowing, listening to his orders: Asgard must be destroyed, Loki brought to me and killed, just to show where treason gets you._

_An horde of Chitauri, with their leader in front, getting ready for a biggest battle of their history, going after an Asgardian frost giant, who didn't meet the criteria of their deal._

_Asgard. People everywhere wishing Loki's death as an act of justice. Air filled with hate and pain, and fear of what is there to come. _

I knew that was enough for him to understand, that deeds he did now became his own death sentence, and that it was all real and more serious than he had thought. Images were powerful enough to make him afraid for his own life. And for a good reason; I saw enough to be afraid myself. I let go of his hand, exhausted - tricks like that aren't easy, even if you practice. _The things I do to be taken seriously…_ And then the unexplained happened, though Loki looked like he was in some sort of shock, he grabbed my hand again, so fast, I wasn't able to concentrate.

_"We need to keep him safe" said Odin "He might be a traitor, but he is still my son and his death is not an answer" _

_"Why do you still try to keep him alive, my king?" One of the warriors asked. "You know that no Asgardian will protect him with his own body. No one wants to be responsible for the things he might do. It is a suicide."_

_It looked like Odin was drowned in his own thoughts. He knew that people were right, that the person who will be by his son's side would not just protect him; he would need to protect others FROM him. _

_"I will do it." A voice rang through the hall. Odin slowly raised his head just to see a girl of 20 or a little bit older coming forward and kneeling in front of him, sword in her hands._

_"You? You are just a girl, and it is foolish to think you can stop everyone who comes after him. And even if there was a chance you could, I doubt there is enough willpower in you to resist Loki's… Let's say mind tricks"_

_"I don't think you have a better choice, I might surprise you. I am sure I can do it better than any of your men in here. And I WANT to do it, to begin with"_

_"And what happens if he does something, or something happens to him" Odin asked, looking her straight in the eyes. There was only one answer he would take and the girl knew exactly what it was._

_"Nothing will happen… I swear my life on it"._


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3. Bad decisions_

As soon as my room doors were closed, I felt on my bed and started kicking it, biting my pillow and trying hard not to scream. I knew I looked like a three year old child acting this way, but I had to let my frustration go. I spent less than an hour with Loki and in the meantime he managed to see more than anyone else in this world had.

In the end I took him to Thor willingly, though his gaze was locked on me all the time. He wasn't speaking or asking questions, but I took it as a bad sign, just like everything else he does. My presence wasn't necessary in their meeting, so I was free to do whatever I wanted. Well, there was only one thing I did want, but I doubt a bodyguard can kill the person she protects.

Now lying on my bed, finally calm, or as calm as one can get under these circumstances, I went through everything that happened at least three times. "He knows." I said out loud to myself. "He knows I have frost giant blood, he knows my little trick with the memories. Oh, god, he knows I swore my life on him" If there was any other way of things getting worse than it did already, I couldn't think of one.

"Coffee, I need coffee". Wait, do they have coffee here in Asgard? Well, I thought the answer was no, and even if there was something similar they would call it "_Asgard juice" _or_ "drink of the Gods", _something unbelievably stupid and I didn't even want to know.

If I was back at home, I would have a nice cup of coffee, or even nicer bottle of tequila, a hot bubble bath and some loud rock music to calm my nerves. Well, I had a bath here too, and so far it was my best (and only) choice. Water was really hot and already bubbly, so I removed my clothes that stank of disgrace and slowly lied in that steaming mass of bubbles. When it was comfortable enough I put my head under the water as I always do when I need to think without anything distracting me. I could hold my breath under water for minutes, even when I was just a kid; it always impressed everyone who was able to witness it.

I don't know how many minutes passed when I saw someone standing above me. Momentarily, without me realizing what was happening here, two hands lifted my head out of the water. "Are you stupid?" It was Sif, one of the noble warriors of Asgard and a good friend of Thor's. "One hour with Loki and you are already trying to drown yourself?"

I saw frustration and anger in her eyes. For a moment there I blinked like a fish that was taken out of the water. And just like a fish, I was brainless. "Oh, God, Sif, no" I laughed after a second of collecting my thoughts. I wasn't used to someone not knowing about my perfect lung capacity "I can stay a little bit longer under the water. Helps me think, you know" I was smiling a little bit too much, maybe, but she bought it and let my shoulders free.

"Oh. Well, Thor and Odin want to see you. Loki was escorted back to his chambers and now they want to have a word with you" After that she turned around and left my bathroom, closing the doors a little bit louder than protocol dictates.

"Well, she doesn't like me so much" I muttered silently. "Even after seeing me naked. That's the first". I laughed like a crazy person, feeling like one too.

It took me a minute or two, to find new clothes and run the brush through my hair, tying it into a ponytail. I had really really long brown straight hair and I knew that in a fight it would interfere with my tactics. But I just loved it so much, I couldn't cut it short. It's childish and stupid and I knew it, but that wasn't something I could change my mind about.

As I stood by the same door Loki was taken, I thought of what Odin might want from me. And why Thor is there? Did Loki say something about my tricks? That would leave me having my head cut off. I took a deep breath and knocked. "Come in." I heard and pushed the heavy door. Only Thor and Odin were there. I was expecting to see Sif or any other warrior by their side, but the hall was empty. Well as empty as it can get with two gods sitting in front of you. I kneeled a little bit and took the seat which I assumed was meant for me.

"So, you managed" said Odin silently after a minute of observation. I could swear Thor was smiling a bit, like I passed some kind of test. Wait a second. This _was_ a test, they just wanted to see if I could get through this and make Loki do what is told to. _Wasn't that easy_, I thought, but seeing that Odin wasn't angry, for a second I hoped Loki haven't told what happened there, so no way in hell I'm telling about that little accident myself. No sir.

"I told you I might surprise you." I said smiling a little bit. At that moment I saw that he was offended. Oh, yes, right, people end sentences "My king" here, when they talk to him or Thor. Odin wasn't a king anymore, throne belonged to Thor now, but respect was still there and everyone addressed Odin as a king. Well, he wasn't my king, neither was Thor, so I just skipped that, not intentionally, but I wasn't used calling anyone like that. And I wasn't planning on it. I just hoped it wasn't a punishable offense here in Asgard.

"Might I ask, Miriam. How did you manage to do it?" Now it was Thor talking, his voice was softer, like he was admiring me, thinking me brave or smart enough to be in this position.

"I am good at persuasion, you can say. Loki might not be the only one having a silver tongue in this universe" Another smile from me. Let's just pretend I am a delightful smart girl, not a red-eyed blue-skinned frost giant. Easier for everyone, right?

Few minutes passed, or it seemed like minutes. No one was talking, just looking at each other and thinking to themselves. For a second I thought it was a sign for me to leave, though a really poor one, but… Asgardians.

"You will be by Loki's side all the time" Finally Odin spoke, calm and wise, looking me straight in the eyes. "It is not necessary to protect him while he is in his chambers. We concealed it with enchantments and he can not leave or use any complex magic there". _Uh-huh, _I thought to myself. _So all that multiplying was just an easy trick? Well, in the end, it might've been worse_... „But whenever he needs to leave you will be there to escort him. You can not look the other way, or concentrate on other things, he has to be your main priority all the time. The castle might be safe for him, but he is still a threat for the others. That's all".

_Oh, so this is how Asgardians end their conversation?_ I stood up from my chair and kneeled, trying to focus my gaze on both of them. I wanted to leave the hall running, but I pulled myself together and left gracefully. After doors were closed, I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was sitting there evaluating the situation. What the hell did I put myself into?


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4. Consequences_

When I was halfway to my room someone caught up with me. Thor. I had no idea whether I should kneel again, or acknowledge king's presence in any other way, and so my brain thought that the best way to go is just standing there and staring.

"I am sorry if my father isn't as polite as one wants him to be" He said smiling after a long minute of silence. "There are so many things happening right now, that he wants not to talk about it much."

"Oh" The only thing I managed to think of. _Oh? Seriously, think of something better right now!_ "That's not a problem at all. And I completely understand the stress you all go through under these circumstances." _Well that's better, now just smile like a weirdo and he might let you go._

"You did well and I wasn't expecting that, to be honest. Maybe I can talk you into sharing those tactics with me?" Now he was smiling even more. What was it? Did Loki tell something to him and he just wanted to hear it from me? _Oh no, we are not playing this game._

"As I've said, I'm really good at persuasion and reading people" Another smile, but I knew this won't work in a long run, so tonight is the time for me to figure out other good explanation.

"Well, you might change your mind, as it would be greatly appreciated, Lady Miriam" Thor's smile was still there but you could see he wasn't happy anymore. I told you I'm good at reading people. Even almighty kings of Asgard. "Tonight at dinner Loki's presence is required, so is yours Be ready at 8" He took my hand kissing it gently, then turned around leaving me there standing frustrated and tired.

In my room again I checked the time, it was 6pm, and so I still had few hours to kill, and all that's happened and will happen fell on me like a massive piece of rock. I felt so tired all I could think was closing my eyes for a bit. After few minutes of struggling to take my shoes off I was in my bed and the second my head touched the pillow I was safe and sound asleep.

There was a silent knock on the door after what seemed like a second of rest. Unable to stand up I just muttered "Come in" hoping whoever was knocking heard it. A young servant girl came in bowing to me, carrying few boxes with her. "I am sorry miss, but it is already 7:30 and you must get ready for dinner. I was asked to deliver you these." She put boxes on my chair, bowed again and left.

_7:30? Did I sleep for hour and a half?_ I felt even more tired and not in the mood to deal with Loki or anyone other than myself. Slowly I rolled out of my warm comfortable bed, though it was really painful, forcing myself to go and check what was in the boxes. First one had a long beautiful dress red and silver in color. "Thor" I said and smiled. Not Asgard style, more like something that girls wear back on earth. Really really rich girls to be exact. It was strapless and lacy waste up, red and silver thread made into some kind of flowery pattern, waste down it was loose, crimson red. At least I will be able to walk in it. Or so I thought until I saw the heels. _Do they want to torture me? I am supposed to protect Loki, not fall on my nose every time I was walking._ They were beautiful, I have to give him that, simple black heels, but still… Heels, for god's sake. Well, I suppose whether you are a king or a warrior, or a bodyguard, when sitting by the dinner table, you can not look bad.

I dressed myself, brushed my hair letting them fall loose around my shoulders, put a little bit of make-up, so my face would suit the dress. I supposed bringing sword to a dinner table wasn't necessary, but just in case I tied a knife to my thigh, fastening the buckle and covering it with my dress. One last look at the mirror made me realize I actually look quite pretty. I never thought of myself as beautiful, but good clothes and make-up can turn you into a beautiful human being. It wasn't my goal, though, so I couldn't force myself to feel comfortable at all.

"Let the fun begin" I muttered again, understanding, that I talk to myself way too much and left the room. Loki's room was right next to mine, as if it wasn't enough that I will be spending all my time with him, I need to sleep right next to him too. This time I knocked, just to stop (or at least delay) all the arguments that might come out of this. There was no answer, so I pushed the door open and came in.

"You see, I knocked" I said to a figure sitting on a bed. His back was turned on me and he didn't even move a bit when I spoke. "Can we go now? Dinner starts soon and I want it over as much as you do." My plan of treating him nicely might work miracles. If only I've thought about it at our first encounter.

Finally Loki stood up, but he was still facing the wall and it looked like weight of all 9 realms laid on his shoulders. He didn't talk and I thought that more trouble is coming my way. But few seconds after Loki finally turned around and lifted his head looking at me. For a moment he stood silent. Thinking about?.. What the hell did I know? I could swear there was a glimpse of admiration in his eyes, but that was just plain crazy and so I decided not to notice it. There was nothing else to do, but just to turn around and start walking; I could hear his footsteps behind me, and so I just proceeded to walk down the hallway.

"Are you supposed to guard me in this dress?" Loki asked finally, his silky voice made me shiver a bit. "Or is it my brother who wants to see you looking like this? I could swear it was Thor's idea, the dress reeks of his fashion sense"

"I am pretty sure that won't be an obstacle. I had worse" What else there was to say? All those words that came from Loki's mouth were dripping with mockery and contempt, and disgust. "Let's just walk. I don't think small talk is pleasant for either of us"

I felt him catching up with me, his breathing became louder and the cape kept brushing against my heels. "I bet you would look better in green" Loki whispered to my ear catching me off guard and I could literally hear that evil grin reflected in his voice. "Would suit that blue skin you sometimes have. And if not, your hair would definitely go better with green than red."

I decided to stay calm. No need to start arguing now. We are going, he is going and that's all that matters. So far so good. "Well, we will never know that, will we?" I turned around to meet his eyes for a moment and opened the doors to the dining hall. "You first, _my lord_"


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5. I'll sleep when I'm dead_

Dinner was as awkward as I expected it to be. Thor was sitting at the end of the table, Odin, Frigga and Sif on his right side, Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral, Warrior's Three, on the left. I was gestured to take a seat next to Sif, as Loki sat directly in front of me. I was relieved not to sit next to him, but that was until I noticed that he was staring at me. ALL THE TIME. If the purpose of this dinner was to make Loki feel welcome, or at least a little bit like at home, no one actually knew how to do it, so he just sat there, staring. I concentrated on eating, answering few questions from Frigga or Volstagg, smiling like a weirdo again and trying to get Loki out of my head, not to show him, how uncomfortable he was making me feel. Even worse was when his long legs brushed against mine, and though it looked like a harmless act at first then it started happening every few seconds. Well, he would need to try harder to make me crack. I decided it was a good chance to make it up to Sif, so we started a little chat of our own, talking about the beauty of Asgard and other things that didn't really matter. Everything was better than having to face Loki.

When the time for desert came, Loki let himself loose a little bit. I could feel something touching my shoulder, my back, my arm, my thigh… That was unexpected, so I moved a little bit too fast under the table, knocking the glass of wine with my elbow. Everyone felt silent, their eyes locked on me. "I'm sorry" I smiled sheepishly drying the stain with my napkin "I am a little bit clumsy sometimes". _Wait, what? I, the bodyguard of Loki can not be clumsy_, so it was the worst explanation I could think of, definitely. But no one seemed to concentrate on that, and after a second everyone was talking again. Except from Loki, off course, and now there was this big grin on his face. He was really excited, that the trick worked on me like that. _Well, next time,_ I thought, _I hope he feels the knife on my thigh._ I gave him the biggest smile, with a little "I will kill you next time" look in my eyes.

Dinner was over, so I escorted Loki back to his chambers. He was silent all the time, and I was thanking all Gods for that. When we reached the door, he opened them fast, cast a little glimpse my way and closed it without saying anything.

I had so much adrenaline in my blood, it was impossible to even think about sleeping so I took off my heels and walked past my room to the direction I thought led to the gardens. And so it did. There were no words to describe the beauty of that place: gorgeous flowers that we didn't have back on earth, fountains, trees, gazebos and benches everywhere. I found a swing there too, and from that second it became my favorite place in whole Asgard. I just sat there for a while, not thinking, simply looking into nothingness. After a moment or two I lifted my eyes just to see windows of my room, and, off course, Loki's balcony, with him standing there. "Oh, just lovely" I muttered "Because the amount of time spent together is not enough". After some time, when my eyes found the balcony again, he was still there. There was no way of knowing whether he saw me or not, and at that moment, I didn't really care. He was locked up in his room, while I am out in this lovely garden and a shadow of Loki won't ruin this for me.

I was enjoying the warm breeze, that carried fantastic smell of flowers so much, I was so relaxed, that after closing my eyes for a moment I managed to fall asleep.

_Loki was next to me, his hand around my waist, my dress of green and gold fabric, Loki's favorite colors. He was smiling and waving, while people of Asgard bowed in front of us. He turned cupping my chin with his cold hand and kissed me slowly and intimately holding me so close that our bodies felt like one. I felt happy and somehow complete. Nothing I felt before in my life could be compared to the amount of satisfaction this kiss gave me. My legs started trembling a little bit, I shivered and he pulled me even closer to him, kissing like I was never kissed before. All I could think about was that I never wanted to stop, just stay like this until the end of the world._

I opened my eyes as fast as humanly possible, looking around, gasping for air, feeling flustered and terrified at the same time. What the hell was this dream? I looked up to Loki's balcony, lights were off, and he was nowhere to be seen. After slowly gathering my thoughts, I took a deep breath and stood up, taking my heels from the ground and running upstairs so fast, you could think an army of Chitauri was coming after me. And right that moment I wished it was the reason that made me feel this way.

I took another bath, washed all my make-up and went to bed. Clock showed 3:18 in the morning, and I hoped I will be able to sleep undisturbed at least for few hours. The memory of that dream was still haunting me, I could swear I felt faint taste of Loki's tongue on my lips and his hands on my waist holding me tightly, but I forced my eyes shut and refused to open them. Finally sleep came to me and I slept peacefully, no monsters in my dreams again.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6. The other truth_

I woke up at 6:30, only three hours of sleep, but my body felt rested and my mind happy so nothing else mattered to me. I tried not to think about the last night and concentrate on things I will have to do today. Breakfast, meeting with Thor (he asked me to have a little chat with him over the dinner table yesterday) and then whatever the day brings. I hoped Loki will stay in his chambers all day long and I won't need to see his face today at all.

I put my jeans on, first t-shirt I could find, found my army boots, brushed my teeth, tried to entangle my hair, but in the end gave up and put them to a really messy bun. I looked decent, I felt good.

I had breakfast brought to my room, which was really good. Back at home I usually went to a small bagel place right around a corner, to have my morning coffee and a bagel. Oh, well, I missed coffee, and I had no idea how people survive here without it. After eating a bowl full of fruit and drinking fresh orange juice it was about time to meet Thor. Right that second I heard footsteps in a hallway and a loud knock that came afterwards. I jumped from my seat and opened the door. Thor was standing there, his face worried. "You will take Loki to one of the chambers upstairs" he said fast "It's not safe for him here, people might know his whereabouts"

"What happened?" I asked trying to understand what made Thor so concerned about Loki's safety. "Is something coming after him?"

"We are still working on that. I have no time for explaining now, but I will later. Just do as I said." He turned around and left in a rush, Mjolnir in his hands. I stood there only for a second, but then my instincts told me to act fast, I tied the knife to my thigh again and this time decided to take my sword as well. _You can never be too safe_, I thought running to Loki's chamber.

Loki was there, standing by the doors already "I've heard" he said, examining my face and noticing the sword in my hands. "Is this for me?"

"No, Loki, I like my head as it is, and I'm pretty sure it won't be on my shoulders anymore as soon as you will hold that sword in your hands" I inhaled, since the words were leaving my mouth so fast so fast, I forgot to breathe. "Now let's go, no time to waste" I grabbed Loki's hand, pretending not to notice him frowning, and headed to the first stairway_. How big is this place_? We climbed maybe ten flights of stairs and I decided it will be a good place to stay for now. After walking around a bit, we found a room that seemed most remote from any stairs or entrances. It was a tiny one, maybe suitable for a servant, nonetheless, it was really gorgeous, as everything else in here: wide big golden bed, magnificent carpets, marble flooring in the bathroom, few dressers and a table with two chairs.

I closed the door, pushing the dresser to block the way. My head was spinning from all the rush, so I decided it was for the best to take a little break. I sat on the bed and looked around; Loki was standing there, looking at me, not even a glimpse of panic in his eyes_. How could anyone stay this calm when there might be someone after him?_

"So, how was your night?" he asked smiling and at that moment I realized it was no ordinary dream I had. _He_ put it in my head and he knew exactly how it will affect me. Well, no way, sir, I am going to let you feel proud about it even for a second.

"Why would you ask that?" I looked at him sheepishly. Well, what else there was to say? Talking about his wicked ideas in my head wouldn't be the best way to go. Might as well pretend that nothing happened. "I slept, I woke up, and I am here now."

"Just curious" he smiled again. "I heard people complaining they had bad dreams while sleeping here."

People my ass. "I tend not to remember any of my dreams when I wake up." I smiled. Oh, chatting here like old friends, are we? All smiley, and happy. Where are our bunnies, unicorns and tea? "I might not be one of those people after all."

"So it seems" He stood there a little bit longer, thinking about something, moments after that he sat on a bed, quite close to me, or closer than I wanted him to be. The images of my dream came back to my head hitting me so hard, I had to look away for a moment and gather my thoughts. This was clearly a bad time and place to be thinking about him that way. For a moment I wondered whether he saw my reaction, but when I turned to his side, Loki was looking at the floor, his head in his palms.

"Who are you?" I heard a low tired voice. "Why are you doing this?" Suddenly I wanted to tell him everything, like Loki was the only person in whole universe I could trust.

"Stop it," I whispered "Stop trying to get into my head or make me tell you things I do not share with anyone." At that moment I felt like his little toy and not someone he should be at least a little bit afraid of. Well, off course, after he saw my little deal with Odin, he knew that if anything happens, it will be on me. "You know, if you would've asked nicely without trying to influence me with your wicked magic, I might've told you a thing or two"

He lifted his head and slowly turned to me, whether of his movement or because I asked him to, I couldn't feel his presence in my head anymore. He was looking at me so long it became impossible just to sit there like this, so I managed to stand up and went to the dresser used to block the doors with. Slowly sitting there I realized, that we might stay here for a really really long time, so it would be for the best to talk some sweet nothings about myself.

"I've been through some serious crap, you could say" I started my story and as soon as I did Loki looked at me, interested. "I was taken from Jotunheim by an Asgardian warrior around the same time you were. But when you were raised like a king, living in a castle, having servants bring you food, I was sent to earth, because after that same warrior brought me home, his wife couldn't have a frost giant for a daughter, so she made him give me away" I stopped to think about it for a little bit. It happened long long time ago, but I still wasn't completely able to talk about that without feeling bad.

"I was adopted by a nice family there" I continued, looking at my sword, not being able to meet Loki's eyes. "Time might run differently here in Asgard, but it took me 18 years to realize who I was. I woke up on my 18th birthday, ready to go to school and have a little celebration, and then continue living my simple boring life. The problem was, the second I looked at the mirror to get my hair fixed, I saw a red-eyed monster looking back at me. I thought it was a dream, until I pinched myself hundreds of times and I was still there, seeing myself slowly turn blue."

I had to stop there. It might not sound like something, until you are in the same situation and realize that you are an abomination. The memories of that period of my life flooding back made me stand up and go by the window, just to distract myself somehow. I felt Loki's gaze following me, but he kept silent. _Well, wasn't that what I wanted to do with this story?_

"My mother came to wake me up and saw something that used to be her daughter standing there and looking at her with those blood red eyes" I continued, still looking through the window, talking more to myself that to him "She almost went mad, screaming and grabbing my arm, pulling me towards the doors and closing them as soon as I was outside. I screamed and begged her to let me in, telling that it was still me, and all I needed was help. She never opened the doors and after few more hours of me knocking and pleading, my own mother called police on me."

I stopped, that was enough, if I continue like this, some things I don't want him to know about might slip through my lips. I stood there a little bit longer, but the silence was killing me "So, when you were rejecting everyone around you, who tried to stay by your side and help you feel loved, I was homeless, my own mother called police on me, I had nowhere to go and no one to talk to." I inhaled and turned to him, meeting his eyes that were unreadable and I had no idea what he was thinking about. "That's why I despised you so much and was jealous, and angry. You had everything I needed, but threw it away because of your stupid ambitions. I couldn't understand that, I just couldn't" Loki started opening his mouth to say something.

At that exact moment someone knocked on the door.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7. Winds of change_

"Miriam, are you here?" It was Sif, so I ran to the door, pushing the dresser away. She was standing there, joy in her eyes. "It is safe now; you can lead him back to his room" Sif said casting a glance to Loki, who was sitting there, sentence he wanted to say a moment ago still on his lips. "Well, let's go, Miriam, what are you waiting for? Thor still wants to see you"

"Time to move, Loki" I said smiling, "This room was not big enough for both of us anyway". He stood up and we left our temporary hideout of truth. All three of us were walking together and the atmosphere was so awkward, I wanted to run from there as fast as possible. After reaching Loki's room, I stood there for a while, looking at him until Sif took my hand and pulled me away, leading me to the place Thor was waiting. I turned my head back just a little bit, noticing that Loki was still standing there, looking at me.

"How are you two dealing with each other" Sif's voice made me come back to the moment "I guess it is not easy to be by his side all the time, especially, when he wants to be alone more than anything" Sif was truly interested, and I thought that our dinner bonding was actually working.

"It's no piece of cake" I said smiling. "You all know Loki better than I do. And you know how uncomfortable it is to be around him when he doesn't want you to." Sif nodded with sympathy in her eyes. "Well, let's just say, both of us feel bad in each others company, so we just try compromising a bit and staying silent". I think that was the smartest thing to answer. No one needs to know about sharing our little secrets.

"Well, I think it is going better than any of us suspected" she said smiling. "Thor is in the garden, down these stairs. I will leave you two alone and we will talk later" She waved and took the path leading to the training area. Lovely girl, maybe the only one I could talk to here, and at this moment I considered her my closest friend.

I took the same stairs as yesterday on my after-dinner adventure. After walking around the garden a little bit I saw Thor in a golden gazebo, not so far away from here my swings were. I cast a quick glance up just to see Loki back in his usual spot. "Well, I hope he will have more fun than I do" I muttered silently. Even if Thor had more human emotions than any other person here, but he still was a king. And a God. And a huge muscular attractive guy. Ok, enough.

"Is my brother back in his chambers?" was the first thing that left his lips. Woah, talking about some greeting…_Well, raise your head and look for yourself, or do you truly think I left him on the loose, wandering around the palace and scaring little children._

"Yes. Sif came to tell that there's no more danger, so both of us took him back" I sat on the bench in front of him. King or no king, don't expect me standing there all the time. "So what happened exactly?"

"Nothing too important. We had some news that few of the frost giants were noticed not so far from Asgard." He said looking to his hands that were on the table. I could see some blood on his fingers. "They were rogue, or that's the only thing they said before attacking. None of us were hurt and there doesn't seem to be any danger anymore"

"Well, that… Is good news" I said smiling a little bit. Nothing else crossed my mind so I just sat there staring and smiling. Jeez, 90% of my time in this place was spent doing this. I bet they think I'm a little retarded or something… Time to say something else "Is anything else bothering you?"

"Miriam" he lifted his face meeting my eyes "I am most grateful for what you are doing. No one would have taken such a responsibility. And he is my brother, I want him safe." Thor stopped talking now just looking at me with those sky-blue eyes full of gratitude "I didn't have the time to thank you appropriately, though I wanted to do it from the second you volunteered to protect him. Thank you. Again."

I felt my cheeks flush and I had that image in my head - me turning red. Not a pleasant sight. "Don't mention it, Thor" I said silently "It is my duty now, to protect your brother and I take it very seriously. I am grateful for your honesty and concern".

After a minute of silence (the other common thing in Asgard), Thor stood up, kissed my hand again, this time a little bit longer and left. "Charming" I muttered, still flushed and uncomfortable. Standing there for a second, I turned to leave when I heard a silent laugh from upstairs. Loki was still in his balcony and I could bet my left hand on it, he heard every single word. "If you can hear this" I said silently "Next time you should mind your own business". After that I left fast, going back to my room to contemplate my existential dilemma once again.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I am more than grateful to all the people, who think this is worth reading and liking. That means a world to me, since it is my first try at writing something. And pardon me my grammar, since English is not my first language. I love you all and I hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it._

_Chapter 8. Frustration_

I don't know for how long I was lying on my bed, trying to figure out, whether it's a fly or just some dirt on the ceiling. I needed some activity and I needed it fast. The problem was, leaving this room would mean meeting someone and that wasn't something I desired. Not even Sif. The craziest thought was that I wanted to meet Loki, and it was so disturbing, I decided that I'm going crazy. Legitimately crazy. There was a suspicion that somehow he managed to mess with my head again, since it was only a wall separating us, but after a moment I realized it was only me. Even if I despised that man, somehow I simply loved being myself around him. Loki knew my secrets so there was no need to pretend anymore. His room was the most dangerous as well as the most tempting area of this palace.

The thought alone made me stand up so fast, I needed to sit back again. Everything turned black and started spinning around. When my sight came back, I looked at the clock, it was 6pm already and my stomach growled. "Time to put some substance in me" I muttered, laughing from how much of an Asgardian talk it sounded like. After leaving the room something unexpected happened – as soon as I was in front of Loki's door (they were on my way to the dining hall) I stopped there and knocked. _What the hell am I doing? _It was even more surprising, when Loki opened his door just a moment later. "Yes, I feel hungry, we can go".

What the actual hell? Oh, ok, now I get it. "Messing with my head again, aren't you?" I hissed with such a visible anger on my face, only a blind man wouldn't be able to see it.

"I have no idea what are you talking about" he said and turned to go. I watched him strut down the hallway, until he stopped and turned his head a little bit. "Or would you prefer eating in my room? It would be fine by me" Oh, I just wanted to smack that smile right of his face.

"I'll pass this time. Thank you" murmured I going after him. _Well that's an unfortunate situation, but I will make him suffer for that, oh boy, I will._

Dining hall was empty, except for the servants, who were there to serve us some quality food. _Way better than my usual choices at home, _I thought digging into a deliciously looking piece of ham. For my surprise Loki was eating too. EATING. Not looking or trying to touch me in any way, or messing with my brain, just being silent and eating. _Well, in the end it might not be as bad as expected,_ and at that same moment it crossed my mind, Loki raised his head. "Will you continue your story?"

_Uh-oh. _So much of trying to enjoy the food. I finished chewing what was in my mouth, while Loki sat there silently looking at me. "It's not that interesting" I said finally, meeting his eyes "How interesting can life of a homeless frost giant teenager be?" I put another bite of ham in my mouth. There was nothing to talk about anymore, and stuffing food in my mouth seemed like a great excuse for that.

"I would like to hear" Loki said, insisting, and I knew that he wouldn't leave me be, unless I tell him something else. I sipped some wine, still feeling hungry, counting on the thought, that right after he hears something from me I will be able to finish my supper.

"Well" started I trying to remember "They held me in the police office for a day. I already looked human, so they arrested me only for bothering people and spending nights by their doors. I couldn't prove them that it was MY house. My last name was different from my mother's and she denied having any connections with me" Another bite of ham. I just couldn't stop eating, and that seemed to amuse Loki in some weird way. "They let me go, and when I came back home, no one was there anymore - they put the house up for rent and left. My things were still there though, so at least I had some clothes and a little bit of cash. Mother blocked all my credit cards, so I only had what was hidden in my socks" _Oh yeah, good times _I thought, washing it with more wine.

"Anyways, I was on my own from that moment on. I slept everywhere: park benches, under the bridges, dirty alleyways. But that wasn't the thing that bothered me. I still had no idea what was wrong: the transformation would happen over and over again so the best way to go was to stay as far away from people as possible" God, I wanted to stop talking. It was too much for me, too many emotions, and too many unpleasant memories. "I lived like this until some man, who called himself "Agent Coulson" found me. He took me back to the headquarters of some sort and explained everything. I lived there for few years, until he taught me to control myself, explained exactly what I was. Not like it made my life easier, but at least I wasn't so lost anymore"

That's all he needed to know. I didn't feel like sharing but also there was a strange flicker of sadness when I mentioned Coulson. Or was it something else? Pity? It's getting harder and harder to read him, and that was something I couldn't explain. I started eating again, while he looked at me.

"You were with S.H.I.E.L.D.?" he asked.

"No. I haven't heard about it until all that hocus-pocus of yours happened. Coulson let me stay there just because he was a good man and he wanted to help me. I was never a part of any superheroes army or anything." I answered honestly. "I left few years before this happened, even before Thor came to earth for the first time." _Eat and stop asking me, for crying out loud!_

Maybe Loki realized I wasn't in a sharing mood anymore, or maybe he got the answer he was looking for. I didn't want to talk to him, I wanted to listen, but I knew almost everything about his adventures anyway. And I bet he would try to make himself look better than he was with all those stories. So we ate in silence. When our plates were clean, I stood up and moved my head towards the door. For a second I felt sad that the supper was over, but no way am I letting him see this.

We walked to his door in silence and when I was on the way to my room, Loki caught my hand. It was a gentle move, but I still had my guards up, and nothing like this was allowed to happen while being with him. I struggled trying to get out, but he kept on holding me. "Let go" I hissed "You won't see any pretty pictures from my head anymore. It was a mistake I have no intentions of repeating again."

He didn't answer, just pulled me so close to him I could hear his heart beating, laying a gentle kiss on my forehead. It lasted maybe half of a second, but that was enough for me to go all red. Loki let go as fast as he grabbed me and went back to his room, leaving me standing outside, lost in my own thoughts, trying to get my heartbeat steady.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9. Ignorance is bliss_

I haven't seen Loki since that moment in a hallway. Three days have passed and so far there were no news about him. I needed that break, some time apart to figure out what I was here for again.

I could remember, how clouded my head was the morning after; all I could think of was him. I woke up feeling great, ready to face Loki, talk to him, answer more questions, and babble on about my days back on earth. I felt like 16 again, full of joy and butterflies in my stomach. That lasted for few hours, and only then I felt like Asgard was my home, the place I wanted to stay until the end of time.

To be more precise, it lasted until Thor visited informing, that his brother refuses to see me again. "Loki told me he would rather spend all his days back in the chambers, than see your human face again". My jaw felt open and I kept staring at him waiting for an explanation, or at least something to ease my mind with, but there was nothing, as he was waiting for the same thing from me. I don't remember our conversation exactly, but it was more about nothing than anything at all, and after a second I was alone in my room again, trying to figure out what happened exactly.

Two more days went by, with me just wandering around the palace, waiting for something to happen, or some news to overhear. I spent my days waiting and my nights expecting, until the fourth day dawned on me and I could think straight again. Everything, that was so blurry before became clear and my brains were working in full speed. It felt like I snapped out of a horrible dream that was torturing me for an eternity.

That time I suspected Loki's magic being involved, though it was quite hard to find a reasonable explanation behind it. Off course I thought about it, all the time, to be honest. The only thing I could come up with was that all Loki wanted was the truth, the background, the story... To get me all confused and fall into the trap he planned so well for me. To make me think that I've got all figured out, that I managed to understand God of mischief himself. And then he laughed at my face, thinking how silly I was. In the end, we were enemies and nothing else. Loki was bitter and hurt, and scared, and lost in his own mind. So lost, there was no way of coming back.

Since my days and nights were free, I decided it would be for the best to do something meaningful with my time, and so I asked Sif and Hogun to train with me. Both of them were just great, teaching me some new tricks and tactics and since they took training seriously and genuinely enjoyed it, we usually spent more than 6 hours fighting. Every day I would come back to my room with at least dozen of new bruises and cuts all over me, my body aching, but my mind calm and satisfied.

Since I still had to do something with the rest of the day, I mostly wandered around the palace, admiring every single corner of it. It was a magnificent place no words could describe and though silent and empty, it radiated a life of its own. One night I found a huge library, filled with books written in a language I couldn't understand, though there was still some hope to find something in English, so I spent my evenings and nights simply browsing.

A week has passed, and by that time I was expecting at least some kind of news. I didn't care about Loki or his twisted ways anymore, but I had the feeling, that soon either Thor or Odin will summon me for a little talk, just to inform that I had to pack my things and leave Asgard for good, and that actually was something to look forward to. This place started to feel the same as it did on my first day here – cold, empty, pompous and fake, I was unwelcome here and that's exactly how I felt. The only place at the moment, that greeted me warmly, was the same swing I sat on my second day in the palace. After I asked Thor whether he had any books in English and he brought some Norse mythology, I just sat there night after night reading.

Loki was there, up in his balcony, standing so still I thought it was some kind of trick my mind was playing. But after few more glances I was pretty sure it was him. By that time I felt nothing towards him, and at first it was pretty strange, that my emotions would boil one day and then go ice cold the other. But since every strange thing about me that happened so far had something to do with being a lovely frost-giant, I decided not to worry about it anymore. In fact I loved this little merit, as it helped me get rid of all the unwanted feelings pretty easy. Now it was even funny, how messed up my head was before, actually trying to find something human-like in a god of Mischief himself.

"I know you can hear me, Loki" I said silently, not looking up to check if he was still there. I just knew I had to say this out loud whether he was listening or not. "Your little games failed, I'm not going anywhere and it is not up to you to decide that. You might think yourself really sly, but in the end I will be always able to see you the way you really are". This time I tilted my head a bit, to make sure he was there and that he could see me looking at him. "Just a little misunderstood kid, in a terrible need for attention." I closed my book, stood up and left, not looking behind.

It was quite late, when I came back to my room, so I decided not to waste any more precious time that could be spent sleeping instead. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before slipping under the bed-sheets and drifting to sleep.

_I was standing in a balcony overlooking all Asgard. Light summer breeze played in my hair while I smelled that intoxicating odor of the garden. Long white dress I was wearing calmly fluttered in the wind wrapping itself around my legs and waist. I turned around and walked back into the room. I noticed a man standing in the corner, hiding his face and though the room was really bright, he somehow found a shadow to hide in. _

_I chuckled "Oh, Loki, are you trying to scare me? You know this won't work, it never does. Better come to me, love." I stood there smiling, holding my hands up as a sign for him to embrace me. After what seemed like an eternity, though I was pretty sure only a second have passed, he walked up to me, wrapping his hands tightly around my waist and burying his chin in my hair. I was breathing slowly up his neck, stroking his back. "I missed you so much, love" I murmured not moving, just enjoying that moment. "Every second you were away, I was thinking about you". After placing a soft kiss right bellow his ear, I moved back a little bit to meet his eyes "Is everything all right? You look… Upset."_

_He didn't answer, so we just stood there, not touching, looking at each other for a minute or two. "What…" I started my sentence, when suddenly he kissed me. It was a little bit rougher than I was used to, but that was the last thing on my mind that moment. I moaned a little bit, and that made him kiss me even more passionately, grabbing my hair and pulling me closer to him. Luckily the bed was right next to us, because my legs went numb and I just felt right on it, dragging Loki with me and positioning right under him. I was so hungry for his body; I wrapped my legs around him, still kissing and at the same time trying to unbuckle his jacket. It was harder than it seemed so I groaned in frustration and eagerness, making him giggle and move away._

_I kneeled on the bed, while he was standing and taking care of removing his clothes, all the time looking at me with raw lust in his eyes. It looked so easy now, when his long fingers opened every buckle in a matter of a second. I bit my lip, admiring what I saw, examining every curve, every defined muscle of his body that right this moment belonged to me and me only. The second last piece of clothing hit the floor, he was on top of me again, kissing my lips, ripping the dress off, placing his cold hands on my breasts, caressing them for a moment, then sliding one hand down my belly. I arched my back right that moment he placed it between my legs, moaning from the pleasure that was rolling in waves through my body. I couldn't wait anymore, I needed to feel him inside me right that second even more than I needed to breathe._

_Suddenly his body froze and he lifted his head a little bit, as if he could hear something. I was listening too, but the place was silent, expect for my heavy breathing. I saw a shadow in Loki's eyes, as his face turned into a mask of hate._


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10. The beast_

"Miriam, it's Thor. Are you awake? We have some plans for today"

I opened my eyes, still confused about what was happening. I was in my room, there were no doubts about that. Alone. After lying there trying to concentrate, another loud knock landed on my door "Miriam? Are you here?" _Oh crap. _I jumped out of my bed and ran to the door, consequences of that hit me right after opening them: everything went black and I nearly collapsed on the floor, but Thor was quick to catch me in his arms. "Is everything all right? It looks like you have fever" he said, placing his palm on my forehead. _Oh, baby Jesus, that's no fever…_

"Sure sure, I'm okay." I said standing up, breathing heavily and trying to come up with a decent explanation. "You just woke me up from a really terrible nightmare, that's it". _Not completely true, but as close as it can get_, thought I still gathering my thoughts. "So, is something wrong? What plans?"

Thor was still looking at me, a shade of worry not leaving his eyes "Your presence will be needed with Loki today. The enchantments we put on his chambers might have been penetrated, so you will need to keep him occupied until we look into this." Oh yes, there were more than few glitches to report about that entire enchantment thing, but I decided to rather keep it for myself at least until I meet God of mischief myself. "Sure, sounds great, when do we start?"

"Loki!" I said loudly while knocking on his door "Time for breakfast." As always, there was no answer and I grew tired of this. "You know, answering wouldn't hurt" I said walking inside and looking around. Loki was in his balcony, and so this was where my feet carried me. The second I walked there, the realization of it being the same place from my dream hit me – Asgard, smell of the flowers and that same breeze in my hair. I felt a wave of heat rising inside me, as all those memories flooded my mind reminding me of what happened next. I exhaled quite loudly, and that made Loki turn to look at me with his eyebrow raised and excitement all over that sly face of his.

"Feeling… Overwhelmed?" he was smiling now, making me stand there blinking like a fish and trying to come up with a clever answer. "I can feel your emotions, you know" now he was whispering right into my ear "And what you are feeling is hard to mistake for anything else than…" Loki stopped talking, examining me for a moment and slowly licking his lips "…Lust".

That was the last drop and I couldn't listen to his mockery anymore, it seemed like a vein inside my brain popped unleashing all these emotions I had. Lust, anger, fear, hatred, passion, hunger, frustration… It was too much to bear and my body reacted to it so fast I wasn't able to stop, it was too late. My body tensed, making my heart stop for a moment, and the second it started beating again my eyes closed and everything I just felt simply vanished.

I opened my eyes, evaluating the situation. Loki was still there, and I felt the satisfaction noticing how his expression changed: he wasn't smiling anymore and any emotion he had before was wiped from his face, leaving it blank, shocked. "You went too far" I whispered leaning closer to his face, until I could practically touch it with mine. I grabbed the collar of his jacket savoring that moment. "I can live with those dreams you put in my head or you being a conceited pathetic excuse of a man, but as long as I am here, you will respect me, because right now, there is nothing here to stop me from killing you in your own little prison". Every word I said sent a gust of freezing cold air towards him and I could see his hair turning whiter from it. At that moment I couldn't even remember my name, for all I could say, I was incarnation of pure hatred itself, poisoning this place with my own presence.

We stood like this for a minute or two; just looking at each other and breathing slowly. I was still holding him, my eyes fixed on his face, and I knew what I had to do. The image of Loki dying, his face emotionless, cold, with a hint of surprise frozen on it forever. Loki lying here, right here, in this balcony he loved so much. I felt a blade of ice forming on my hand as I lifted it right to Loki's neck, smiling with an enormous satisfaction.

Suddenly everything went black; my hand released Loki as I felt on the ground, hitting my knees so hard, a growl left my mouth. I was turning back to human, and it was out of my control again. The unbearable pain pierced my head, and it was so bad I started screaming and pleading for someone to end it all. I felt a hand on my back and a faint voice, though I couldn't concentrate to actually hear what it was saying. I screamed and creamed and screamed until there was no air left in my lungs and I drifted into the dark.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N.: I actually changed this chapter completely after reading the older version of it. Might be because I have a fever and my brains aren't working very well. Hehehe. We'll see if it was for good. _

_Thank you, my lovely readers for making me move forward. You are the best. Enjoy!_

_Chapter 11. Curiosity killed the cat_

I was in some sort of coma. Everything that happened, my emotions, my transformation, the pain I felt had an impact on my brain. I felt myself burning up, my memories flooding over me from time to time. I was conscious, or at least partly, there were voices around me, I could hear them and I knew that I was still in Asgard, somewhere safe now, with people around. But at the same time all the memories from my past would entangle with the present and I was living in both of them right now.

_I was on my way to work and sun was shining so bright my eyes hurt, heat making me feel very uncomfortable. I hated sunny days, I hated summer, it was not in my blood, that love for warmth or sun-bathing. I turned left and entered an alley that was guarded by shadows falling from tall buildings around it. I took few steps and then a flash of light struck the ground few steps away from me. It was so bright, that I covered my eyes and started cursing. _

_"You can open your eyes, child" the voice of a man rang in my ears, sending shivers down my spine, making every nerve in my body twitch, sending a signal of danger straight to my brains. I removed the hand that covered my face, looking in the direction that voice came from. An old man was standing there, looking at me with some sort of interest, examining my reaction._

_"I warn you, old man" finally the ability of speech came back to me "I have no time or patience for your tricks, and I'm the last person in this world you want to mess with". I always had a lot of anger inside and people were actually afraid of me for some reason. And that was fine, I wasn't a people person myself, and I definitely wasn't chatty or fun to be around, I lacked social skills and people trying to interact with me would trigger some kind of self defense mechanism. I wasn't always like this, but things that happened in past few years made some drastic changes in my head._

_"But you are not of this world, child" there was some kind of power in his voice, power that made me feel afraid and respectful. "Or will you deny that?"_

_"Who are you?" I whispered, my eyes wide in frustration and panic. "Why are you here, and what do you know about me?"_

_"I am Mimir, my daughter, and I am of Asgard, as are you"_

My mind came back to my body. I thought of my father, the one who took me from Jotunheim, brought back to Asgard, sent me to earth and then 23 years later brought me back to Asgard again. We didn't talk much, he explained about things that were happening here, he told me about the boy that was just like me, taken from Jotunheim, but turned wicked. He needed my help as I was the only one who could understand him at least remotely. We were at the palace and when Odin claimed he needed someone to protect Loki, and I just acted on an impulse and volunteered.

It all seemed right at that moment, and now I was lying here, tormented by my own pain and frustration, wandering, how could I put myself into this so easily. I shouldn't be here, I should've never come, and I could be back on earth now, just marching forwards, leading maybe a dull, but safe life.

I forced my eyes to open, turning my head to the side. Thor, Sif and Frigga were sitting by my bed, and it was in some kind of infirmary or a healing room. As soon as I focused my sight on Thor, he noticed it and grabbed my hand with a sign of relief on his face.

"Miriam, how are you feeling?" The concern in his voice made me feel better. For a second there I thought that Loki told them what happened exactly, and that as soon as I'd open my eyes, there would be nasty consequences to face. But seeing his expression, I felt safe and I knew that my secret was just that – a secret.

"I… I am fine, I guess. What is this place?"

"It is our healing room, child" it was Frigga, who answered this time. "You have been unconscious for two days already; our healers had to work really hard. I hope you will feel better, excuse me." She gave me a faint smile and left the room. Sif sat there for a while, looking at me, then stood up and left too; now it was only me and Thor in the room.

"I was out for two days?" I muttered more to myself because I could swear it felt like an hour or even less. "How can it be?"

"What happened to you, Miriam?" asked Thor still holding my hand "When guards came you were already unconscious and Loki claimed that you fainted about a minute ago. But the maid that was in your room at that time told me she heard you scream moments before that. Is it Loki's fault?"

"I don't remember" I lied, because there was nothing else that could've been said without it turning back on either Loki or me. "I wasn't feeling well; you saw that in the morning. It might've been fever after all." It actually was a good excuse giving that Thor really saw something wrong with me in the morning. "I had a really big headache by the time I met Loki. I can't remember screaming, but maybe I was unconscious already when that happened".

I knew Thor wanted to believe this. He loved his brother so much, that the idea of him being guilty of something like this made Thor uneasy. I was relieved to see him smile after a minute. "You still have to rest, Miriam. I will check on you tomorrow" he said, then brushed his palm against my cheek and left.

I drifted back to sleep right after my room was empty, and the next time I opened my eyes it was dark already. I saw someone sitting on the chair by my bed. Loki.

"What are you doing here? How can you leave your room?" Questions just flew from my mouth, making me feel uneasy. Last time we were together I almost killed him and now I thought he came for a pay back.

"The enchantments are still week. And they don't talk about you, so I had to come and check myself" I saw a faint reflection of a light in his eyes.

"You lied. You lied for me, making yourself look guilty. Why?" That was the question bothering me even in my dreams. He's Loki, he's evil, what is the purpose of all this?

"Let's say I'm curious to see how it all goes. You always surprise me, just when I start to think I know you well. It's interesting to see, how you bring the worst in me, making me feel human, when at the same time I bring the worst in you, making you my own reflection of some sorts." He smiled faintly, standing up and coming closer. I closed my eyes waiting for what will happen now. I felt him breathing in my ear.

"Let's just say I'm very curious of what there is to come" he whispered, brushed my hand with his long fingers and was gone leaving only a gust of wind behind.


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12. Time off._

I spent two more days in the healing room. It was nice to take a little break from things, as nothing big happened at that time. Mostly I just read some books and started writing my journal. Thor would visit me every day and we chatted about earth and Asgard, and Loki. I would say we bonded really well at that time, he was so human-like with me, and that made me feel comfortable around him. He told me about Jane and things that happened back on earth when he was there for the first time; we even talked about coffee, as stupid as it may sound. I could see his moral growth, the impact all of that made on him. Thor was an amazing person and a true king of Asgard.

Sif and Hogun visited me once too. They told me to get better, as it was not fun training without me. Even Frigga came and sat there for a while, asking questions about me and my childhood, or how I ended up in Asgard. I was ready for these questions, and there always were some answers that sounded reasonable enough to give. You have to have that ready when you come here with a secret like mine. Off course, it was only a question of time, when will they find out about my true origins and I only could hope, that when that time comes, I'd be long gone.

There was no real danger of enemies coming to Asgard; that was surprising and only meant that once they do, everything will get even nastier than I thought. But I tried to live in this day, and all this silent period only meant that I could take my time and sleep everything off.

I haven't seen Loki, though. Or have I? Sometimes at nights I could feel someone's presence in the room, there were weird sounds or someone brushing against my skin. But whenever I would open my eyes, no one was there, and so I just thought it was a dream, or my imagination playing some tricks on me sometimes. I had more than enough time to think about that entire situation with him. We shared a bond, and a strong one, to be exact. He kept all my secrets, secrets that would have me killed, if someone heard about them. Though he was unpredictable in every way possible, and I was sure he would turn against me as soon as there would be any profit for him, right now I felt safe.

On the third day a healer came, telling me I can leave, as there is no real danger for me anymore. They weren't able to find out what exactly happened, but all the symptoms were similar to a major exhaustion mixed with a really high fever. Though I wasn't feverish by the time I came to the healing room, there was no better explanation than this. It was good enough for me, and I hoped all those small details wouldn't attract any unwanted attention. She told me to take it easy for the next couple of days, well, it was fine by me.

Thor was waiting in the corridor; he hugged me around the waist, and started leading me to the chambers. It was rather awkward, though he was my friend now and we were really close, there were some boundaries I thought I can not cross. But, let's face that, telling Thor about this would be considered defying the king. And the god. So I just proceeded to walk keeping my mouth shut.

"The healer woman told me you should rest for a while" Thor said when we were already standing by the door. "Father agrees, that you should take your time to get back on your feet" Thor said smiling, then placed his palm on my cheek "You are of great value here, Miriam." Few seconds of silence, that ended with a kiss on my forehead left me standing there feeling even more frustrated than I ever was.

"Oh god, I'm a whore of Asgard" muttered I facing the door as I closed them. "And that will definitely kick me in the ass." I knew that kiss was not up to me, but the way I felt after it… Well, that wasn't very saint-like.

"Now… Why would you say something like that?" The voice from behind made me close my eyes. I knew that voice, sadly I knew it too well, and whenever I heard it, something not pleasant happened. I took my time turning around and saw Loki lying on my bed, and, off course, grinning as always. "Starting to feel something towards my brother? That doesn't make you a whore, though… I guess there is another reason, then"

"Loki, you're a funny funny man, aren't you?" My voice sounded tired, well I was tired myself, and all I wanted was to end this conversation as soon as possible. "Bad things happen when you try to mock me, and to be honest, at the moment I wouldn't enjoy it very much". I sat on the bed, right next to him and started taking my shoes off "Please leave".

"It is considered polite, answering the questions. Didn't you know?" I felt his body shifting and even though I decided to ignore him, it was hard not to notice, how close he got to me. Since my body stayed the same, though my mind was all blurry, Loki got a little bit impatient waiting for an answer. "I don't think ignoring me ends as well as one's expected"

"Please leave" I repeated standing up. But Loki grabbed my hand, making me lose my balance and I felt right back onto the bed, and at the same second Loki was on top of me, holding both of my hands above my head. So _much for a mutual understanding…_"Loki, let me go. Right. Now." I was too week to fight him, still dizzy from the medicine, so all I could do was just… Well, talk.

"It's funny, how fast the roles can change. The protector became the one in need of protection." His face was deadly serious, no more smiling or grinning, or excitement. Loki's eyes narrowed while examining me while I just laid there, trying not to break our eye contact. "The whore of Asgard. A strong thing to say and definitely an interesting one to think about."

And so we just lay there, not talking anymore. I just wanted this over with, more than anything. The situation itself was embarrassing enough, but to be completely under Loki's control was even worse. I gave up on the thought of fighting him, wishing this would be over soon, so I could take my bath and grow some balls over night.

"I don't like you calling yourself a whore, Miriam. And I hate the possibility of you being one." finally he said, and then out of nowhere, his lips were pressed to mine.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13. In the end._

It was surprising, how comfortable I felt when kissing him. It happened in my dreams, more than once, but I would always wake up and in the end it was what it was – just a dream. Now it was real, as real as it can get and to be honest, this was what my body craved all this time. I couldn't fight him, and I didn't want to, so for once in my life I just gave up on fighting someone, and moved my head a little bit, to kiss him back.

Everything that happened is still blurry to me. I don't remember how we undressed, but I knew both of us were hungry for each other. I felt the same way like in my last dream, when making love to him seemed as natural as breathing or eating, or sleeping. And we did it all night long, with little breaks to nap, or to talk. From time to time Loki would whisper something like "I was waiting for too long", "You are mine now" or "You are more than perfect" and all these little things worked miracles on me, sending shivers down my spine, making me want him even more.

It was only when we saw the sky getting brighter, when the need to sleep and exhaustion took over. Both of us went to the shower and came back to the bed, crawling under the blankets. I put my head on his chest, and after few minutes of listening to his heartbeat, while Loki stroked my hair, I was asleep.

I have no idea for how long we slept like this, when noise outside woke me up. I could hear screaming and shouting in the corridors and outside the window. Without thinking twice both of us jumped out if the bed and started dressing up quickly. That same second the doors opened and I hoped so much, it had rather been frost giants or Chitauri, but no, it was Thor, standing there and looking at us, still half naked.

"Frost giants are everywhere" he said finally through clenched teeth "Take him and go to the ceremonial hall. It is the safest corner of this palace, and we will meet you there" Thor stormed-off and if the situation was any different than it was then, I would've just died of shame and fear. But there was no time to think, as we put rest of our clothes not talking or looking at each other. I grabbed my dagger and my sword and we left to the direction of the hall.

I was going first, killing few of frost giants that appeared out of nowhere, but just as Thor said, path to the hall was pretty empty so we ran straight there and barricaded the doors when inside. I found a spear that one of the guards left here when running off to fight, and now it was in Loki's hands. He didn't have his magic or his powers, so the smartest thing to do was to move away to the wall and wait until Thor or one of his fighters will come.

"Stay behind me no matter what" I told Loki "Though it should…"

I couldn't end my sentence, as the sound of windows breaking took all my attention. Two frost giants were inside. They didn't notice us at first, giving me a perfect opportunity to send my dagger to the first one's head and just as the second one noticed me, I was already next to him, cutting his head clean off. It wasn't the end, as two more appeared not long after that, and then two more, until at least six frost giants were in the room.

I knew I had to turn now, because even if I was strong in my human form, that wasn't enough. I did it in the blink of an eye, since adrenaline in my blood gave a really good boost. The element of surprise was my best chance, since the enemies stopped for a while evaluating me. But I didn't wait, piercing first two with both of my blades. Training with Sif was really paying off this time. She explained that frost giants are unbelievably strong, though being so tall makes them slower. Since I didn't turn into one of them completely, I still had my human body, so my speed stayed the same making me faster and almost as strong as they were.

I couldn't let any of them to come near Loki, so I just ran forward, sending two more heads on the floor. One of them managed to catch my hand while the other aimed at my head with his ice blade, I bowed the same second I saw it coming and so the giant holding my hand was dead in a second, while I, still bowing, pierced my ice blade through the other one's knee and cut his head off the moment it kneeled in front of me.

It looked like no more frost giants were coming, as I moved to the window to look outside.

"I think we're safe for a while" I said turning back to look at Loki. His gaze was frozen on something, and so I followed it. Thor. He was standing there, looking at me, his lips curling back. I was a frost giant, he saw it and it was unforgivable.

I started changing back, as I wanted to explain everything, make him see I was still the same person, and beg for forgiveness. The second I was human again Loki started shouting something, but before I could understand it, ice cold blade pierced me from behind, tearing my lung and going right through me, as I saw a tip of it coming out right under my collarbone. I looked at Loki for the last time, saw him running to me, but my mouth was filling up with blood, I couldn't breathe anymore and piercing pain went through my body, as the frost giant lifted me from the floor. Darkness and silence took over, and my last thought was that dying is not that scary after all.


	14. Epilogue

_Epilogue._

I woke up in the middle of the night, my own scream still echoing in my ears. I was sitting now, breathing heavily, beads of sweat running down my forehead. The clock showed 3:08 in the morning, as it always did.

It's been about a month since I came back home, or one might say, since I was banished from Asgard. And for a whole month, I would wake up screaming exactly at the same time. There was no dream, nothing that would trigger this, it looked like this just happened out of nowhere. I got up and went to the bathroom, splashing my face with ice cold water. There was no chance I could go back to sleep and so I proceeded to the kitchen, making myself a cup of coffee, lightening a cigarette and opening my journal. It was the same one I had while living in Asgard, and every night like this I would read it over and over again.

_I slowly opened my eyes, I knew the room - I've been here before. Everything was so white and bright it made my eyes hurt. Thor sitting there, looking at the floor. I tried moving my hand to reach for him, but something was holding it. I was chained to the bed and the noise made Thor look up._

_"What…" I started my sentence, but Thor stood up so fast I couldn't finish it._

_"You are not allowed to talk" he said bluntly, making me stare at him "You lied to us, pretended to be someone you're not, earning our trust then putting it to waste. You seduced my brother and brought a great danger upon Asgard. We should kill you instead of bringing you back to life"_

_"Then why don't you?" I said it as fast as I could, knowing, that it might be my last sentence. Well, there were better questions to ask, but I needed to know, what made them change their mind._

_"DO. NOT. TALK" Thor raised his voice, even the windows started vibrating a little bit. A minute or two passed and then he opened his mouth again "Only the fact that you protected Loki with your own body bought you a right to live. It sickens me to even think, what plans you might had and what would've happened, if no one ever found out the truth about you". I could see sadness in his eyes, though he kept his face straight and cruel. "Tomorrow you will face Odin" and he was gone, leaving such a tension behind, for a moment I wished I was dead after all. _

_The following day they brought me to the same hall I once volunteered to protect Loki at. But this time my feet and hands were chained and I was kneeling not out of respect, but because they made me to. Odin and Frigga were there, Thor, Sif, Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg around them, all looking at me with pure contempt. I saw Loki too, he was there, standing in the corner, the only one who seemed not to hate me, and so I concentrated on him, not really listening to what Odin was saying. _

_I was banished from Asgard, they declared me an enemy of the throne. I was never to return or seek forgiveness. I should be glad they left me alive as my actions should be punished by death. I only remember that second before everything vanished - me and Loki still looking at each other, as a single tear rolled down my cheek. And then I was back home, still kneeling same tear falling on the floor._

I was broken, my subconscious haunting me every night and my pain clouding every day. I could swear sometimes I saw shadows in my bedroom, and those shadows reminded me of Loki. I couldn't get used to living here even though I tried really hard. It was like I left that better, stronger part of myself in Asgard with him.

I didn't love Loki, it was never that. We had something even deeper – we were able to count on each other, when everything else seemed to fail us. One day I might forget, but I will always care.

My buzzing doorbell helped me to snap out of my thoughts. I wiped my tears away and went to the door. No one was there, just a folder lying on my doormat, with ""S.H.I.E.L.D." written on it.


	15. Author's Note

**First of all, I want to thank you all, for reading my work and enjoying it. Feedback I got kept me going and I could never ask for more. You were amazing and I love you all!**

**To be honest, it was really hard to finish this story, I wanted to write more, as there were so many things that could've been explained. But I felt like the story HAD to end whether I wanted it or not.**

**And then I got an idea to write a sequel to this one, following Miriam's life on earth. I hope you, my lovely readers, like this idea, as your approval would mean I did something right with this story, and I can go on, bringing characters back to life.**

**I have a draft of my second fan-fic, and maybe soon you will read something written by me again.**

**Once again, thank you for being with me in this amazing journey!**


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